About 3 months later, on 8 November 2004, their child was born.  By happenstance, shortly after giving birth, her husband called from Iraq to see how she was doing.  What a proud father he’d become once he learned that he had a handsome baby boy.  I have heard that when he got off the phone, he had a beautiful smile that went from ear to ear as he told everyone in his company that they had a healthy little baby boy.  He was now a brand-new dad. He could not wait to see his family again.

On or about 18 November 2004, the PFC and new father, was tragically killed in action when an IED exploded near his convoy.  When higher command called my home, my boss stated that we had a KIA (Killed In Action) and the command was currently attempting to locate the PFC’s next of kin in California where his parents resided.  At that point, I realized that a horrible error had occurred that I take personal responsibility for. I knew that the PFC’s next of kin was not in California, but was instead his new wife… a member of my unit.

Due to this his widow was not entitled to her husband’s insurance money/benefits because I had made a mistake.  I cannot express in words the amount of grief I carry with me and must admit that I am many times in deep contemplation on what to do.  It’s been over a year and yet I cannot ease the pain of such a tragic loss.  Some people have told me that it wasn’t my fault or my responsibility.  I beg to differ.  Within the deep recesses of my soul, my internal constitution is connected to this event.  It is tearing me apart.  I should have it no other way until I know that others will not have to suffer the same experience.

I have heard of other mothers who have lost their loved ones and have criticized the administration for having caused their suffering.  Some have even threatened to tie themselves up to objects in front of the White House until there is a change.  I must admit, if I lost a loved one in Iraq, I would do the same.  Nevertheless, this is only part of the healing process.  It is now time for true healing, and that only comes through forgiveness.  

The couple involved in this tragedy named their baby boy “Angel Gabriel”. I have chosen this name for our business in an attempt to honor his dad, his family, this country, all who have served and the “some” who gave all, as well as accept responsibility for my short comings in this matter.

I ask that you, the American people and this family, forgive us for falling short of our duties and your expectations. It is my hope that we all come together to change the world for the better and lead this nation into its Golden Years.

Very Truly Yours,


CHARLES R. STARR II
CPT (RET), QM
Ex-Commanding
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